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By: Julia Pelly | Girls Who Run

Gratitude, or the simple practice of noticing and appreciating the good things around us, is something that’s often at the forefront of parents’ and caregivers’ minds this time of year. Most adults want to help their girl develop a solid sense of gratitude because they know how beneficial noticing and appreciating the things in our lives can be. According to Harvard Health, those who practice gratitude tend to have lower levels of stress, report higher levels of life satisfaction, and enjoy better relationships with their family and friends.

While the evidence is clear that practicing gratitude can be beneficial, the way that many well-meaning parents aim to teach their girls gratitude can be problematic. When parents and caregivers begin talking to their girl about gratitude, many start by comparing her life to someone else’s in order to point out exactly what she should be grateful for. For example, being grateful for physical health because others are sick, being grateful for a supportive person in their life because not everyone has one, being grateful for food or material things because others don’t have what you have. Comparison-based gratitude may seem like an easy way to help a girl become mindful of the good in her life, but, in practice, it often serves only to reinforce the idea that she should be comparing herself and her life to others.